So I am a Child Psychologist. I am an expert in child development, childhood emotional and behavior problems, and behavior management techniques. And in spite of these years of study, I find myself woefully unprepared for the daily challenges of parenting young children. I have two precious boys who are 4 and nearly 2 years old. Becoming a mother has been a dream come true for me; and motherhood is a constant learning experience.
Woe
The Woes, or stressors, of parenting are frequent and unimaginable. I actually thought I was a patient person … until I had children!!
Even with a lot of knowledge and techniques, I find myself making mistakes all the time. In fact, I’ve come to the conclusion that parenting is a long series of mistakes. (But most children turn out fine anyway.) I didn’t imagine that I would raise my voice and lose my cool so often. I could not have imagined how much more difficult it is to get out of the front door on time. I did not know how much life would revolve around toileting (from teaching the skills to hearing bathroom humor all day long). And I did not know how my clear resolutions about screen time, toys, food, discipline etc. might change once actually in the trenches. Also, there is that inevitable moment when some silly phrase comes out of your mouth and you realize, “I sound just like my mother!”
Joy
Of course, I also did not know the unimaginable Joys that would abound as well. Holding a sleeping baby. A toddler saying “Hug” to be picked up and then snuggling his head into my neck. A child asking “How was your day, Mommy?” Watching young children dance and listening to them sing. Tickle fests. Hugs and kisses. Adorable artwork. Engaging in imaginary play together. Seeing a child discover rain, ice cream, or slides. For me, every day as a parent brings new Joys to treasure.
And so I have learned to forgive myself for the mistakes. While routinely apologizing to my sons. And always striving to improve. This is a blog about the issues that challenge me with information and techniques that I hope might be helpful. Some of the posts may particularly target preschool age children while others may be more general. Adaptation as a parent is a constant process. As soon as you have everything all figured out, your child will change or move to a new stage where everything must be renegotiated. And what worked well for the first child may not apply to the second because they are all so unique and different. I hope we can learn together as parents on this sometimes woeful and frequently joyous journey.
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